What kind of candy would a prisoner want before he is executed?

Answer: A Life Saver.

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A Life Saver.

I have a butt, but I’m not alive. I bring smoke, but am not fire. I destroy, I kill, though I am not used in a war. What am I?

Answer: A cigarette.

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A cigarette.

Why can’t a cook swallow his apron?

Answer: Because it goes against his stomach.

Solution:

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Because it goes against his stomach.

I can sizzle like bacon, I am made with an egg, I have plenty of backbone, but lack a good leg, I peel layers like onions, but still remain whole, I can be long, like a flagpole, yet fit in a hole. What am I?

Answer: I'm a snake.

Solution:

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I’m a snake.

Joe is turning 17 this year, yet he turned 16 yesterday. How is this possible?

Answer: Joe's birthday is on December 31, the last day of the year. The current day was January 1st of the next year.

Solution:

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Joe’s birthday is on December 31, the last day of the year. The current day was January 1st of the next year.

What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account?

Answer: Prime mates.

Solution: