Why are mountains funny?

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If a train was on its way to Florida and it tipped over, where would they bury the survivors?

I live next to beauty trying to catch your eye. Grab me without looking, and you’re surely to cry. What am I?

Good for telling the future or racking up in a game.

Voiceless it cries, wingless flutters, toothless bites, mouthless mutters.

Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one, Michael J Fox has a small one, Madonna doesn’t have one, The pope has one but he never uses it, Bill Clinton has one and he uses it all the time! What is it?

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Why are mountains funny?

Answer: Because they're hill areas

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If a train was on its way to Florida and it tipped over, where would they bury the survivors?

Answer: They wouldn't need to, the survivors are still alive!

Solution:

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They wouldn’t need to, the survivors are still alive!

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I live next to beauty trying to catch your eye. Grab me without looking, and you’re surely to cry. What am I?

Answer: thorn

Solution:

Good for telling the future or racking up in a game.

Answer: eight ball

Solution:

Voiceless it cries, wingless flutters, toothless bites, mouthless mutters.

Answer: wind

Solution:

Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one, Michael J Fox has a small one, Madonna doesn’t have one, The pope has one but he never uses it, Bill Clinton has one and he uses it all the time! What is it?

Answer: surname

Solution: