What does an aardvark like on his pizza?

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A claustrophobic person gets on a train. The train enters a tunnel just as it is leaving the station. Where is the best place for him to sit?

As a stone inside a tree, I’ll help your words outlive thee. But if you push me as I stand, the more I move the less I am. What am I?

A town has only two barbers. One of the barbers has a nice, tidy haircut, and the other has a shaggy, messy haircut. Which barber should you go to?

Who always enjoys poor health?

When can someone truthfully tell someone “well done” but think they did a bad job?

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What does an aardvark like on his pizza?

Answer: Ant - chovies.

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Ant – chovies.

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A claustrophobic person gets on a train. The train enters a tunnel just as it is leaving the station. Where is the best place for him to sit?

Answer: In the back. The train will be accelerating so it will be going faster when the back of the train enters the tunnel so a person in the back will spend less time in the tunnel.

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As a stone inside a tree, I’ll help your words outlive thee. But if you push me as I stand, the more I move the less I am. What am I?

Answer: A pencil.

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A town has only two barbers. One of the barbers has a nice, tidy haircut, and the other has a shaggy, messy haircut. Which barber should you go to?

Answer: The one with the messy haircut because he cuts the barber’s hair that has the nice haircut

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Who always enjoys poor health?

Answer: A doctor.

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A doctor.

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When can someone truthfully tell someone “well done” but think they did a bad job?

Answer: When ordering a steak

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