Medium Riddles

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A guy and his wife went to the store and left their three children at home. When they returned, all of his children where dead. The au pair said she was reading the newspaper. the maid said she was making the beds, and the butler said he was putting away the groceries. Who did it?

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What’s a pizzas favorite game?

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I can’t be bought but can be stolen with a glance, I’m worthless to one but priceless to two. What am I?

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I’m long but short. I can brake but bend. I can be wood, tape, and almost anything if you get me just right. What am I?

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Inside napper, bird chaser, quick stoker, small animal killer, fish eater. What is it?

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How do you get a tissue to dance?

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