What can go up and come down without moving?

Answer: The temperature.

Solution:

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The temperature.

A beacon from home to guide your way. It can be a lifesaver on a stormy day. What is it?

Answer: lighthouse

Solution:

Women don’t have and don’t want it. Men get it but sometimes they try to get rid of it. What is it?

Answer: beard

Solution:

Have you heard about the restaurant on the moon?

Answer: Great food, but no atmosphere

Solution:

A policeman bursts through the door, and he finds exactly what the caller described. A man is hanging from the ceiling of the house. There was no furniture, no windows and the man was not psychically killed, or poisoned. The only thing the policeman found was a puddle of water. How did the man hang himself?

Answer: He stood on an ice cube to hang himself, which was slow and painful.

Solution:

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He stood on an ice cube to hang himself, which was slow and painful.

Why can’t a cook swallow his apron?

Answer: Because it goes against his stomach.

Solution:

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Because it goes against his stomach.