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Where do crayons go on vacation?
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One morning a man is leaving on business trip and finds he left some paperwork at his office. He runs into his office to get it and the night watchman stops him and says, “Sir, don’t get on the plane. I had a dream last night that the plane would crash and everyone would die!” The man takes his word and cancels his trip. Sure enough, the plane crashes and everyone dies. The next morning the man gives the watchman a $1,000 reward for saving his life and then fires him. Why did he fire the watchman that saved his life?
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I am not alive, but I grow; I don’t have lungs, but I need air; I don’t have a mouth, but water kills me. What am I?
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If the day before yesterday is the 23rd, then what is the day after tomorrow.
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When is a bump like a hat?
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What animal has more lives than a cat?
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