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After sneaking in the abode, had he met this influential figure, he would cut his carpus, he thought to himself, who was he?

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What has teeth but no mouth?

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As I traveled up and down our great glorious country, I found myself in a place where the tempature goes up sharply in the day and down at night. This had an effect on my watch, I noticed it was 1/2 a minute faster at nightfall, but at dawn it had lost 1/3 minute, making it only 1/6 minute fast. One morning- May 1- my watch showed the right time. By what date was it 5 minutes faster?

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